Desperate Housewives
Season 3, Episode 6
Air date October 29, 2006
Written by Dahvi Waller
Josh Senter
Directed by David Grossman
Episode Guide
"Nice She Ain't"

Plot Edit

It is said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than Edie, who had been confessing her sins to Father O’Malley once a week since she was a child. And once she had been forgiven, Father O’Malley would tell Edie to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately, for Edie, temptation seems to be...everywhere.

Edie just got inside the hospital and she is speaking with Mike. Mike asks her what they were like before the accident, were they close. She tells him that he barely knew that she existed. Mike asks her then why is she here and she tells him that she is in love with him since the first time she laid eyes on him. They kiss.

She goes again to Father O’Malley and tells him that she made out with Mike and it was great.

There was nothing Bree Hodge hated more then an unexpected visitor. Somebody is knocking on her door. She opens and it is Carolyn Bigsby. She tells her that this is not the very good time because she is baking (she is not) and wants to close the door but then Carolyn’s husband Harvey tells her not to do that. Carolyn says that she is sorry and she wants Bree and Orson to forgive them. Harvey’s invite Hodges for a dinner at the golf club and Bree tells them that that would be perfect. They leave and Orson tells Bree that she is amazing but she tells him that she will never have dinner with that lunatic.

Ian comes to Susan house but Susan is hiding behind her car but Karen McCluskey walks buy and says hello to Susan. Ian asks her if she was hiding and she says a little. Ian is inviting her to the party he is throwing for his friend who is coming from London and she can bring a date. He asks how things are going with Mike and she tells him that it is a work in process. He asks if the blond lady is the part of the process and she tells him that she is healing herself from hepatitis C. Susan tells Ian that coming to the party won’t be a very good idea and he leaves and tells her that he at least got to see her.

Gabrielle and Carlos are with their divorce lawyers. The lawyers are fighting over the property and Carlos tells them to give her what she wants he is tired of fighting. Gaby asks him that he is going to give her everything just like that … and Carlos says that she will give her everything just like that.

Lynette comes to the place which Tom bought to open the pizza parlor. It is a complete dump and Lynette tells him to look somewhere else but Tom tells her that he leased the building and Lynette is completely mad. Tom tells her that it is gonna be OK but she rushes out furious.

Bree just finish a tennis match with her friend and the order lemonade. Tish walks buy and Bree says hello but she ignores her. Bree asks her friend Rebecca what is wrong with everybody and she tells her that Tish is mad at her because she married Orson even after Carolyn warned her about Alma. Bree goes and makes a reservation for a central table.

Lynette is packing Toms stuff because he will spend the night in his pizza place. Kids ask her why is she mad and she tells them that adults can take time out sometimes. Kayla is listening carefully and then calls Nora and tells her about this.

Gabrielle is bringing mail home and Carlos takes the biggest envelope saying that that is for him. He puts it in a drawer and locks it and goes to sleep but Gabrielle tells him to take a shower because he is all wet because of his workout.

He goes to take a shower and Gaby takes the key out of his shorts pocket and unlocks the drawer. She sends the papers to her lawyer returns everything but Carlos put on his shorts and Gaby didn’t return the key. She tells him that she will clean it for him and he gives it to her but then he tells her that he forgot something and he takes the key out of the pocket (she managed to return it when he took it off)

She is speaking with her lawyer. It is a job contract and he is offered two million dollars. She is happy because she will get half but lawyer tells her that he will divorce her and then sign the papers and she will get nothing.

Susan goes to Mike and she goes in and sees him and Edie having sex on the bed. She rushes out.

Susan returned home and she sees Lynette and asks her what she is doing. Lynette tells her that McCluskey is taking care of the kids and she is drinking outside and relaxing. Lynette asks her if she wants to join. She first refuses but then changes her mind.

They are drinking outside Lynette’s house and Gabrielle is running by and tells them to make her a double.

Police comes to Mike’s room and gives him the sketch of the dead woman. He can’t figure out if he remembers her. Police tells Mike that she had his number was written on dead woman’s palm. They think that he is a killer and they ask him about the police officer he killed once. Mike tells them that it was a self defense but police think that it was more the beginners luck.

Tom is cleaning his pizza place and Nora walks in and tells him that she knows how much is he doing and she brought him the food and something to drink. They already had too much vine and Tom says that Lynette is right … pizza business is brutal but Nora tells him that he has an aura of success above him and that she believes in him. She kisses him and he freaks out and tells her that he loves his wife. She tells him that he should not have done that.

Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle are drunk and still drinking outside Lynette’s house and old married couple walks by and Lynette tells them that they are celebrating their fifty third anniversaries. Gabrielle tells them that she still loves Carlos. Lynette tells them that she will support Tom if he likes something what she likes. Susan tells them that she loves Mike but she can see herself living with Ian. Cab stops by and asks for Ida Greenberg and Susan says that she is Ida and goes into the cab.

She goes to Ian’s place and he is happy that she is here. He has a party but she is drunk a little bit. She came to make a confession but she rushes into the bathroom and pukes.

The Hodges are with the Bigsbys at the dinner. They are sitting at the central table. Tish walks by and Bree salutes her. She tells her about Christmas and Tish says that she forgot she will call her about that. Carolyn goes to the bathroom with Bree. She gives her the picture of Alma. She has bruises all over her face. That is when Alma went to police after Orson hit her. Carolyn tells her that that is why she asked her for the dinner because if something like that happens to Bree Carolyn will never be able to forgive herself.

Harvey tells Orson that he had an affair. Carolyn doesn’t know. He met the girl on his flight back from Paris. He is not seeing her because a few months ago she stopped returning his calls. He can’t get Monique Polier out of his mind. Harvey shows the picture to Orson. (The dead woman in the morgue is Monique)

Tom is back home and he tells her about Nora. Lynette goes to Nora’s place she kicks down the door and she wants to kick Nora’s ass but then Kayla comes and asks what is wrong. Lynette tells her that everything is fine she can go but Nora tells her to stay. Lynette gives her a hug and whispers to her that she is forbidden from every seeing her husband again, and she is not allowed to step on her property and if she breaks any of those rules she will do to her spine what she did to her door.

Susan woke up and she has a hangover. Ian is in the living room of her house. He has been there all night. Susan doesn’t remember what happened last night and Ian tells her that she said that she missed him and that she didn’t want to break up with him. They kiss.

Detective Ridley is the police officer who is investigating the Monique case. Orson calls him anonymously and tells him that Jane Doe’s name is Monique Polier and that she had an affair with Harvey Bigsby.

Gabrielle calls Carlos to help her dress but her dresses zip is stuck. Gabrielle changes her clothes but she seduces Carlos and they have sex.

Detective Ridley comes to Bigsbys house and asks Harvey about Monique. He is afraid that Carolyn will find out and they will talk somewhere else.

Gabrielle is with Carlos in bed and she tells him that she loves him and that this whole divorce thing is just a stupid thing. Carlos starts laughing. He tells her that he mailed those fake job papers. He did that because he wanted just to get her in bed. He tells her that she can’t screw behind his back and walk away clean. She calls him a bastard and he calls her a whore. She pushes him out of the window and he falls on the bushes. She calls 911 but he is not on the bushes. He got up and walked into the house. When Gabrielle saw him full of scars and glass parts in him he just said: ”Oh, yeah it is on!”

Mary Alice says: “Not all confessions deserve forgiveness.”

Mike is in the hospital and Edie is in the sexy nurse outfit but he has then a flashback and he sees Monique in sexy underwear.

Quotes: Edit

Mary Alice: "It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than a certain blonde who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley once a week since she was a child. As the years had passed, much to Father O'Malley's dismay, a theme began to emerge."

Edie: (in a flashback) "I seduced the cable guy again." (in another flashback) "I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo." (in another flashback) "Last week I let Rabbi Lippman get to third base."

Mary Alice: "And once she had been forgiven, Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately for Edie, temptation seemed to be..."

Edie: "Hello there."

Mary Alice: "...everywhere."

Mike: "Edie, what were we like, together...before the accident?"

Edie: "What do you mean?"

Mike: "You know, were we close?"

Edie: "Honestly, we lived about 50 feet from each other, and you barely knew that I existed."

Mike: "Seriously?"

Edie: "Mm-hm. It's true. I mean, you weren't rude or anything. We'd wave or exchange hellos as we went to get our mail, but you never really looked at me. I mean, not really. I was just another neighbor to you."

Mike: "If we weren't friends, why are you here every day helping me?"

Edie: "Because...from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I sort of fell in love with you."

Mike: "Oh."

Edie: "Yeah, and I'm not telling you this because I expect anything, so you can just relax. OK?"

Mike: "OK."

Edie: "But when you do come back home and we do run into each other when we're getting our mail, I'd really appreciate it if you...just look at me. That's all."

Mike: "I'm looking at you now." (Mike pulls Edie closer to him and they have a passionate kiss.)

Mary Alice: "Yes, it is often said confession is good for the soul."

Edie: "Mike Delfino and I made out today, and it was great!!"

Mary Alice: "But some confessions are just bragging in disguise."

Harvey: "Bree? Uh, hi. We haven't met. I'm Harvey Bigsby, and I brought my wife here to apologize."

Bree: "It's a soufflé. And timing is everything."

Harvey: "Oh, please, please, um, she's been under a great deal of stress since Alma's disappearance, and, and she really hasn't been herself. Much of that was due to the Mexican painkillers that she was purchasing online, but I put a stop to that."

Orson: "Darling, you are amazing, you know that? To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity."

Bree: "Well, thank you, darling. But if you think for one second that I'm gonna break bread with that malicious, pill-popping shrew, you're out of your mind."

Ian: "How are things with Mike?"

Susan: "Oh, uh, they're moving along. It's a process."

Ian: "And the, uh, blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?"

Susan: "Uh, Edie? Oh, she's just a neighbor. She visits Mike after her Hepatitis C treatments."

Tom: "Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination."

Lynette: "Okay."

Tom: "Okay. Open."

Lynette: "Oh, dear god."

Tom: "Damn it, you looked with your eyes!"

Twin: "How long will daddy be gone?"

Lynette: "Well, that sort of depends on daddy."

Twin: "Are you two mad at each other?"

Lynette: "Yeah. A little. But that's okay. That's okay. We still love each other very much. But just like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a time-out."

Twin: "Why can't he take a time-out in his room?"

Lynette: "'Cause he decided to take it in his pizza place."

Parker: "No fair. That sounds fun."

Lynette: "Not this pizza place. It's a rat hole. But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home."

Twin: "What's petulant?"

Lynette: "It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your futures."

Twin: "Huh?"

Lynette: "It's a grown-up word, and when daddy comes home, you'll learn a new one: grovel."

Carlos: "You wanna wash my shorts?"

Gabrielle: "I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves."

Susan: "So where were we?"

Lynette: "You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time."

Susan: "Oh, right. Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do."

Gabrielle: "Hey! Cocktails? Nobody called me?"

Susan: "It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives."

Gabrielle: "Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!"

Lynette: "I want Tom to do what he wants, as long as I want to do it as well. God I'm a bitch... with a capital C."

(As the cab pulls up)

Lynette: Oh look Susan God called you a cab."

Detective Ridley: "You killed a cop once, didn't you?"

Mike: "That was self-defense."

Detective Ridley: "Hope it wasn't just beginner's luck."

Gabrielle: "Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?"

Susan: "Oh, god, here she goes again. What grade is he in?"

(Lynette kicks down Nora's front door)

Lynette: Ding dong!

Nora: Ohhh-kay. Look, whatever he says is a lie!

Lynette: Nora, somehow, I don't beleive you.

(Kayla enters the room and looks at both Nora and Lynette)

Kayla: What's going on?

Lynette: Nothing sweetie, just go back to bed while I talk to your mum.

Nora: No! Kayla, stay where you are.

(Lynette watches them for a moment)

Lynette: OK, fine. I'll go peacefully, (places her hands in a prayer position) But before I leave I'm gonna give your mom...a nice big hug!

(Lynette hugs Nora)

Nora: What the?

Lynette: "Your association with my family is over. When Kayla comes to visit, you will drop her at the end of the block. You will never again see my husband, and if you try to, I will do to your spine what I just did to your front door. Nod if you understand."

(Nora nods her head in defeat, Lynette lets go of her and lifts her chin up)

Lynette: Chin up Nora! (to Kayla) Kayla where gonna have so much fun on saturday! Don't forget your bathing suit. See ya!

Ian: "I’ll tell you what. I’ll repeat what you said last night, and you say whether it was you or the booze talking. Are you ready?"

Susan: "Mm."

Ian: "You said you missed me. Susan or booze?"

Susan: "Susan."

Ian: "You said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that you wanted to start again. Susan or booze?"

Susan: "Susan."

Ian: "Then you said that you wanted to dress me up like a schoolboy and spank my naughty bottom. Susan or booze?"

Susan: "Oh, I didn't say that."

Ian: "Yeah, all right then, but if you had, um, Susan or booze?"

Susan: "A little of both, so, Boozan."

Mary Alice: "There is a place in St. Timothy's church where sinners go to confess their sins and once they're done, they expect absolution. But the truth is, not all confessions are worthy of such forgiveness. Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive. Most who disclose vengeful motives merit the punishment that follows. Only the truly repentant have any right at all to expect a second chance..."

Mike: "Come on, what's my surprise?"

(The door opens and reveals Edie Britt in a nurse's outfit; she takes off the jacket and reveals her sexy outfit, but suddenly Mike Delfino has a flashback of Monique)

Monique: (in a flashback) "I thought you'd never get here."

Mary Alice: "...which is why it's best to think twice before you confess..."

Edie: "Mike? What's wrong?"

Mike: "The...the girl who died..."

Mary Alice: "...especially if you don't know what it is you're confessing to."

Mike: "I think I...knew her."