Desperate Housewives
Season 3, Episode 4
Air date October 15, 2006
Written by John Pardee
Joey Murphy
Directed by Larry Shaw
Episode Guide
"A Weekend in the Country"
"Nice She Ain't"

Plot Edit

Mike Delfino woke up and Edie is the first one to find out. Once she was sure that he was responsive she started screaming: “CODE RED!” and the news of Mike’s return started to spread. Nurses told Dr.Taylor who then called his aunt Ida. She told Lynette who then told Tom. He sent SMS to Carlos who then called Gabrielle. She called Bree who then told Danielle about it. She called Julie but Julie couldn’t reach Susan because there was no signal in the mountain…and she was busy with Ian in the tub anyway.

Danielle is preparing her history project. Bree and the others are having a dinner and Bree is thinking of an alibi for Andrew. She can’t say that he has been eating out of dumpster. Orson is thinking about drama camp, that Andrew has been there whole this time to improve his performing skills. Andrew just wants to say the truth but Bree is already thinking about the name of the drama camp.

Gabrielle didn’t get her spousal support and so she is now selling all of Carlos’ stuff. Carlos comes and he is shocked to see that Gabrielle is selling all of his stuff. She tells him that he didn’t offer enough for spousal support and she needs money.

Lynette asks Parker to dress in his uniform because he has his game in an hour. He says that he quit because he sucks and Tom allowed him to quit. Lynette doesn’t want her son to be a quitter so they go together outside to practice. He is keeping his eyes closed all the time and he complains that Lynette is throwing the ball too fast. Tom tells Lynette that Parker really does suck but she is determined that Parker plays till the end of season because he has only five games left.

Susan and Ian are planning to stay another day in the Country. Ian tells her that he may love her and Susan is completely shocked but pleased.

Edie is feeding Mike who just woke up from a coma. Mike wants to go home to unpack. Edie tells him that the whole street is dying to see him and Bree is baking a pie. He asks himself if Bree is the red haired woman and Edie says that she is. He says that she has a husband a doctor and Edie says that Rex passed away a year and a half ago. Mike says that he doesn’t remember going to the funeral. Edie asks him which year is it and he says that it is 2004.

It turns out that he has a memory loss. He doesn’t remember two whole years. He might partially return his memory if there is someone to fill the blanks and Edie is prepared to fill them.

Parker is playing his baseball game and he sucks. He is embarrassing Lynette and Tom but woman sitting next to Lynette says that it is not her sons fault because he is playing against the best pitcher in the league. She says that Nicky is her neighbor. Lynette wants to know more about him.

Nicky is buying cotton candy but he doesn’t have enough money. Lynette is there to buy him and asks him to walk with her. He know that she is Parker’s mom and she tells him that it must be hard since his daddy lost the job and he says that they cut his allowance. She gives him fifty dollars, in fact she bribes him.

Gabrielle returns home just to see that Carlos is waiting for her. He says to her that he gave in to her demands to spousal support. But since he will be giving all that money he won’t be able to buy some stuff and his lawyer says that it is completely legal to come home. He opens the trunk gets his suitcase and says: “Honey I am home”. Gabrielle is completely shocked.

Parker is in the game again and Nicky throws the ball too slow but Parker can’t hit it anyway. Parker manages to hit the third ball but the ball hits Nicky in the head. He is knocked out and everybody rushes to see how he is. And then the coach notices fifty in his pocket and Nicky points at Lynette. She runs from the game with Tom.

Bree is on the history project with her family and meets Mr.Falati Danielle’s history teacher and he says that she is his favorite student. He sees Andrew and asks where he has been all this time and Bree says that he was in a very prestigious drama camp. Andrew is looking at one project and he sees a man and he asks if he knows him and Andrew tells him that he gave him a ride in a black Sedan once. He freaks out and runs away and Orson asks him what is happening between him and Dr.Keck and Andrew tell him that he preformed once. Orson is completely shocked.

Bree wants to know what Orson has been talking about with Andrew at the history project fare. Orson tells her that Andrew had done something that he is not proud of. He tells her that they do it but he doesn’t pay for it. Bree is out of her mind.

Orson goes into the kitchen to make her a coffee. Bree can’t believe that Howard Keck is gay. Orson wants to cut a pie but Bree tells him that it is for Mike. Orson is shocked to learn that Mike woke up from his coma.

Bree is at Gabrielle’s house talking with her and Lynette and she wants an advice. She asks them if a husband was unfaithful do you say that to wife. Lynette thinks that she should tell her but Gabrielle tells her that women always wants to know if the husband has been unfaithful but they will always hate the person who tells them that. Carlos comes into the kitchen with only pants and shirt. Gabrielle is freaked out and asks him what he is doing. He tells her that somebody threw his laundry out of the machine why it was still wet and she Gabrielle tells him that he deserved it because he peed in her shampoo. He tells her that he would have peed into her mouth wash or coffee.

She returns to talk to the ladies but they all stopped drinking coffee. And Gabrielle tells them that they are not getting back together.

Susan is with Ian in bed. She tells him that she had never been in Paris and he tells her that he can take her there next month. Her phone rings. She can’t hear it too good because of the signal but she understands that Mike woke up from his coma. She is completely shocked. She wants to go back to Fairview.

Lynette is home with Tom and coach just called Parker is off the team and so is Nicky. Lynette is shocked to hear that Nicky is kicked off too. Tom is pissed off at Lynette because she promised that she will support him on catching his dream but it is obvious that she hates that he is not working with ad companies. Parker walks into the room and asks if they are fighting but Lynette tells him that they just decided that he can quit baseball but he doesn’t want to quit now because he just started to be better.

Susan is packing and hurrying back home but Ian is slow and she tells him that she bets that he would move faster if Jane woke up.

Edie shows pictures to Mike and he asks who Susan is because it looks like they have been close. Edie tells him that Susan treated him like dirt. She tells him not to worry because she is up in the mountain with some new guy. Mike was told by one of the nurses that Susan loves him and Edie tells him that Susan is a liar.

Orson came to visit Mike but he is with Edie. Doctor asks him if he came to visit Mike. Doctor also tells him that Mike suffered significant memory loss. Orson tells him that if he had waited so long he can wait a little more.

Carlos went to a shop but he can’t get into the house. He knocks on the big window and tells Gaby to open up because his key won’t work. She tells him that she had the locks changed. He grabs the chair and throws it into the window. Meanwhile Gabrielle called 911 and said that there is an intruder breaking into her home.

Carlos is telling the cops that he is her husband and this is her house. Gabrielle tells them that they are going through a very messy divorce and cop says to Carlos that his wife did all sorts of things to him when they split up. They release Carlos. Gabrielle is mad because they can’t pick sides and punches the cop a little bit. They arrest her for assault.

Lynette is talking to the coach that Parker plays just another game and he will suck and he will want to quit again. Coach says that they could use a new helmets and Lynette will pay for it.

Bree visits Dr. Keck’s wife Vera. She tells her about her husband and she is mad that she told her and she tells her something about her family too. It turns out that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher.

Parker is playing the game again. Lynette is talking with Tom and tells him that she will support him 99 % when he starts to chase his dream. Parker hit the ball and started to run but he fell and hurt his ankle.

Lynette now finds an excuse for quitting the game.

Carlos posted Gabrielle’s bail and he drives her home. He tells her in the car that she still loves her but she tells him that she doesn’t love him. Carlos thinks that she only wants to hurt him but she tells him then about John Rowland and how they slept last weekend. Carlos is mad and stops the car and kicks her out and then drives off and leaves her in the middle of nowhere.

Bree is trying to tell Danielle to break up with her history teacher but she tells her that he loves her and she loves him and leaves the house. Bree is desperate but Andrew cheers her up. Bree tells him that she is tired of being the worst mother in the world and she tried her best to teach them right from wrong. Andrew tells her that they know the difference but wrong seems more tempting. Bree tells Andrew that he can tell her everything what happened while he was on the street.

Susan is in the hospital and tells Ian that the country thing never should have happened. She visits Mike but he is cold to her. He tells her that he doesn’t remember her and that he is tired and she says that she will visit tomorrow but he tells her not to bother herself. She leaves in shock and Edie enters the room

Mary Alice says: “We all have our reasons for re-writing history”

Andrew is with his friends and tells them how it was in a drama camp.

Gabrielle is with her lawyer and says that he Carlos can have a photo album because it means nothing to her anymore.

Lynette tells her friends that Parker quit his team because he hurt his ankle not because of the bribe.

Vera is lying to her friends saying that her husband is working again late tonight because he does it all for the family.

And Edie is with Mike and tells him that he had never really and truly loved Susan.

Quotes: Edit

Mary Alice: "The day Mike Delfino woke from his coma, Edie Britt was the first to know. Once she was sure he was responsive Edie decided to share the good news with others. And that is how word began to spread. Mike's physician, Dr. Craig, was busy with a patient when he first heard the news. Not long after, he called his aunt Ida, who was busy knitting a sweater. She told Lynette Scavo, who was busy watering her lawn, and she told her husband Tom, who was busy playing a computer game. He then e-mailed his friend Carlos, who was busy plotting strategy with his divorce lawyer and Carlos called his soon-to-be ex-wife, Gabrielle, who was busy doing the same with hers.Yes, word of Mike's miraculous recovery spread quickly throughout Wisteria Lane and stopped cold everyone's busy, busy life. Everyone, that is except for Susan Mayer, who was busy doing something she would soon wish...she hadn't."

Danielle: "Is it weird eating off plates? 'Cause if you were more comfortable, you could just eat straight out of the garbage."
Bree: "This is a family event, and we're all gonna enjoy it together. Now, Danielle, stop sniping and start thinking of an alibi for your brother."
Danielle: "I know. We could say he joined a cult and we had to kidnap and deprogram him."
Bree: "Well, that would certainly spare the family some embarrassment. Why not throw in a killing spree, too?"

Carlos: "Gaby, I'm trying to be civil, but if you don't knock it off right now, I swear, the gloves are coming off."
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, the gloves aren't just off. They're seventy percent off! Get your cashmere gloves!"

Parker: "But, mom, I suck! Everybody says so. That's why they made up a fake position for me."
Lynette: "It is not fake. There is not a team I know that could get along without their backup far right fielder."

Parker: "You threw it too fast. Throw slower."
Lynette: "If I threw any slower, we would be bowling."

Orson: "How to put this? Uh, when Andrew was on the street, he, uh, he didn't just beg for money. At times, he, well, he did things to earn it."
Bree: "Oh, good. I mean, I'd hate to think he had no work ethic at all."
Orson: "Uh, what I mean is, men hired him, uh, to, uh, do things. Things he wasn't very proud of."
Bree: "Yard work?"
Orson: "Afraid not."
Bree: "Orson, you're scaring me. Did he do something awful?"
Orson: "No! No. Not awful. I mean, people do it all the time. I do it with you. I just don't pay you for it. I think someone could use a cocoa."

Bree: "How does this Dr. Keck fit into all of this? I mean, is he treating Andrew for some awful disease?"
Orson: "Actually, I think he was one of Andrew's clients."
Bree: "Howard Keck? Oh, that's ridiculous. He's got a wife and a daughter. He plays on Tom Scavo's bowling team."
Orson: "Well, that's clearly not the only team he plays for."

Bree: "Okay, that's what I was thinking. I mean, that's how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia."
Gabrielle: "She told me she got it from wearing someone else's bathing suit."
Lynette:: "No, that's how she got crabs."
Gabrielle: Poor Bunny. It's always something. If it's not the clap, it's a botched face-lift."

Lynette: "So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn't tell me?"
Gabrielle: "No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him."
Lynette: "Aw, you're sweet."

Gabrielle: "You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!"
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works."
Carlos: "Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn't do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee."

Lynette: "You can't bend the rules just once?"
Coach: "Did you know the team could use some new batting helmets?"
Lynette: "Are you asking for a bribe?"
Coach: "You pretending you're above that?"
Lynette: "I'll get my checkbook."

Vera: "I owe you an apology because I've been sitting on a little secret about your family."
Bree: "Oh?"
Vera: "Actually, it's not much of a secret. My daughter tells me it's common knowledge among the cheerleaders."
Bree: "What is?"
Vera: "The fact that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher. But where are my manners? I should have brought some biscuits with that."

Bree: "I am so tired of feeling like the worst mother who ever lived."
Andrew: "You're not. There's Grandma."

Mary Alice: "We all have our reasons for rewriting history. Sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibis. Sometimes we wanna hurt someone who has hurt us and then there are times we just wanna spare ourselves embarrassment. Of course, there are some who feel that to rewrite history is just another way to lie but what is history anyway but a set of lies agreed upon?"