|Season 3, Episode 7|
|Air date||November 5, 2006|
|Written by||Joe Keenan|
|Directed by||Larry Shaw|
"Sweetheart, I Have to Confess"
"Children and Art"
“Bang” is the 53rd episode of the ABC television series, Desperate Housewives. It was also the 7th episode of the show’s third season. The episode was written by Joe Keenan and directed by Larry Shaw. It aired on November 5, 2006.
Due to time constraints, the opening credits were completely cut from the episode.
It was supposed to be an ordinary day for Carolyn Bigsby. She had planned to bake her husband a strudel, give her dog a bath and water her African violets. Yes, Carolyn had planned to do all sorts of thing she thought matter, but earlier that day a woman who wasn’t her friend told Carolyn something she wasn’t suppose to hear. From that moment on, Carolyn felt nothing really mattered.
She walks into the supermarket and Harvey is the owner. She walks to him and tells him that he should be with Monique if he loves her that much. He tells her that she is dead and she says she knows and pulls out the gun from her purse and starts shooting. He runs with Edie into his office and locks himself inside. Carolyn is now holding the hostages.
THE NIGHT BEFORE
Lynette Scavo had a dream last night. It was one she had many times before. She dreamt of last time she saw Mary Alice and of the last time they spoke. Lynette asks her if everything is OK and Mary Alice tells her that everything is fine. Lynette didn’t know that that would be their last chat and that Mary Alice would walk into her house and put the bullet through her brain.
Lynette is talking with Susan and Gabrielle and tells them that she had again Mary Alice dream last night. She hadn’t had it for months and she doesn’t know why it came back. Lynette blames herself, because she saw that Mary Alice was in pain and she did nothing.
A new neighbor moved into Mary Alice’s house. He is a bachelor and lives with his invalid sister. They want to introduce themselves but they will give him more time to unpack.
Bree asks Orson about Alma’s police report. He tells her that she fall down the stairs because Orson pushed her in self defense. She went all hysterical and when Orson tried to calm her down she started to punch him and he pushed her in self defense. Orson tells Bree that Carolyn should worry more about her marriage because Harvey cheated on her with stewardess named Monique. Bree believes him.
Nora comes to Scavo house. Lynette tells her that she stepped on her property and that she is talking to her husband. She broke two rules. Nora just came to inform them that she is going away to Mexico with Kayla. One of her friends found her a job as a dancer in night club and she gives some papers to Tom to sign the child support. Lynette tells her that Kayla is Tom’s daughter too she can’t leave the country just like that. Nora leaves anyway.
Gabrielle is with the lawyers and the judge in the small room for divorce. Carlos’ lawyer asks the judge about the seduction because that is the part of suffering caused to his client. Gabrielle tells them that that is a lie. Carlos then plays the tape when they had sex. He recorded their love making. Gabrielle is thrown out and she yells at Carlos that he is a dead man and Carlos tells her that everything is fine she got the house and he just got everything in it.
Susan is cleaning the kitchen and preparing to go with Ian to France. Julie comes and tells her that she is packing her suitcase and that she is out of toothpaste. Susan finds the beer that Austin was drinking and she can’t believe that Julie had any. Julie is mad because Susan doubts on her and she rushes to the store to by the toothpaste.
Bree is walking down the street and Carolyn stops by and asks her how she is. Bree tells her that Orson had an explanation and she believes him. Carolyn tells her that she is a fool and Bree tells her about her husband and Monique.
Tom tells Lynette that he would need to go to Mexico to visit Kayla. Lynette tells her that that is what Nora really wants and she tells Tom that they should sue for full custody.
Gabrielle walks into the house and Carlos is making fun of her. She walks into the kitchen and starts breaking everything. She throws the glasses on the floor. Gabrielle tells him that when they met she was on the cover of magazines and what did she get in return. Carlos goes into the living room and uses the hammer to demolish the house. Carlos tells her that they could stop this right now or continue playing. She looks at him and breaks the vase.
Julie is in the supermarket and so is Austin. She tells him about that beer can and he will make it up to her and offers himself to carry all of her stuff. She agrees but then he puts whisky in her back pack.
Carolyn calls Harvey. Carolyn asks him if she loved her. He tells her that she disappeared eight months ago and Carolyn remembers because he fell into depression then. He tells her that she is dead and Carolyn asks him if she was alive who he would rather be with. He tells her again that she is dead.
Julie and Austin are preparing to pay for the stuff and then is when whiskey falls out of Julie’s back pack. The woman calls Mr.Bigsby and he hangs up on Carolyn. Carolyn takes the gun.
Lynette kids call Lynette to look at them because they are playing in the garden. She tells them that she will look at them as soon as she gets back from the store. Edie walks by and her mobile phone rings. Edie needs to go to the store because Austin tried to shoplift the whiskey.
Ian walks into Susan’s house. She is still packing. Her phone rings and they tell her about Julie.
Susan walks into the store. Lynette is talking to the new neighbor Art about his moving in and about his sister. When she asks what is wrong with her Nora walks into the store. Lynette goes away.
Susan and Edie are with Austin and Julie. Harvey asks them how are they gonna figure this out and Susan walks out to tell Ian that they are not going to Paris and tells Julie that she is disappointed in her. When Susan walks out Carolyn walks in. Edie tells Harvey that Austin will work for month.
Lynette meets with Nora and Nora is pissed off because she wants to steal her kid. Carolyn starts shooting and after Harvey goes into his office with Edie and locks himself inside Carolyn takes the hostages.
Susan is talking with Ian and tells him that she is not going to Paris.
Lynette and Nora asks one guy who is working in the market what is going on and he tells them that Mrs.Bigsby went mental all of a sudden. He thinks that he can make it and runs for the door. She shoots him in the shoulder but he manages to get out. Lynette and Nora freak out.
Carolyn goes around the store to see if there is anyone else remaining inside so she can take them to the back of the store with the rest of the hostages. She takes one woman and she tells Carolyn that her son Jordan is new in her Sunday school. Harvey is calling the police and tells them about Carolyn. Edie sees on screen that Austen is there with Julie and she tells Harvey to go outside to take one for the team.
Lynette calls Tom and Parker answers and he tells her that twins won’t share Lego with him. She tells him that she will buy him a real robot if he gives her daddy on the phone. Carolyn walks by and tells them that she is having a really bad day and she asks for cooperation. Lynette hangs up.
Ian went away and Susan is in front of the store. She sees that something is not right and people tell her that there is a crazy woman inside with the gun. Susan tries to go into the store but Carolyn lock the front door and Susan tells her to open up because there is a crazy woman in there and Carolyn says that she knows and shows the gun to her.
Karen McClusky rings on the Gabrielle’s door and tells her to turn on the TV or the radio. Gabrielle tells her that they are not working really. Karen tells her that they are all watching the hostage situation at Bree’s house but then she sees that everything inside Gabrielle’s house is broken and then Carlos turns on the chainsaw and Gabrielle tells her that she needs just a couple of minutes.
Everybody is at Bree’s house watching the news and then Ida comes with her friend. She came because she knew that Bree will have food.
Carolyn tells the hostages about her husband and Monique. Her mobile rings and it is Tish on the phone. They talk and Carolyn tells her to turn on the TV. Julie asks Austin how he can be so calm but he tells her that he knows that he won’t die today and she won’t die either. Harvey tells Edie that he told only one person and Edie tells him that it was clearly the wrong one.
Susan asks one of the police officer about hostage exchange program but he is all arrogant and refuses to do that.
Susan grabs the microphone and calls Carolyn. She apologizes about crazy woman reference and tells her to let Julie go and to take her instead.
Gabrielle and Carlos came to Bree’s house to watch the big hostage situation and news reporter tells that Carolyn Bigsby is the hostage taker. Phone rings and Andrew answers. He tells them that Edie called and that Julie and Lynette are with the hostages. Somebody is ringing on the door and it is Tom with the kids. He tells if everything is all right and they all look at him in shock.
It has been three hours since the whole situation began.
Orson goes into the kitchen and talks with Bree. Bree tells him that it is all her fault because she told Carolyn about Monique. If anyone gets hurt it will be all her fault.
Tom is with Susan in front of the store.
Carolyn tells the hostages that she wanted kids but Harvey had two from his first marriage. She is loosing it and Harvey asks the police what he should do. Police officer tells him to say to Carolyn that he is sorry that he loves her and that everything is gonna be all right and to see if she can release the kids and old people. Harvey grabs the microphone and tells her that he is sorry and Edie tells him to tell her to let the kids go. Carolyn heard Edie’s voice and freaks out and she thinks that she is another one of Harvey’s whores. She tells Edie that she has a bullet for her too.
Gabrielle is sitting outside Bree’s house and Carlos walks by. She tells him that she understands Carolyn because she felt some much rage and anger for the last six months. She hates what she became with this divorce. They say to each other that they will stop being those persons.
Tom tells to Susan that Carolyn is a Sunday school teacher and that means that she will never hurt the kid. And Susan tells him that everything is gonna be fine and he hopes so too.
Nora starts to talk with Lynette and they argue but Carolyn tells them to shut up. Nora tells to Carolyn that Lynette is trying to steal her kid and Lynette tells to Carolyn that Nora tried to seduce her husband. Carolyn shoots Nora just like that. Everyone heard the shoot and everyone is in shock.
Ian arrives and he is with Susan now.
It is confirmed on the news that hostage has been shot. Lynette kids ask Bree when Lynette will be back from the store. She tells them to go inside the kitchen and have some cookies.
Lynette is trying to stop the bleeding. Nora tells her to take a really good care of Kayla now and she dies. Carolyn tells to Lynette that she knew she wanted her dead. Lynette freaks out and tells her that she is crazy. Carolyn tells her that Nora deserved that and Lynette tells her that she deserved to be cheated on.
Everybody is in the shock and Lynette tells her that she shouldn’t have said that and Carolyn is preparing to shoot her but Art (the new neighbor) grabs the can out of his basket and throws it and punches Carolyn on the head. She shot Lynette in the arm. Carolyn falls down and she lost the gun. Austin grabs Carolyn and Jordan’s mother grabs the gun and shots Carolyn in the head, Austin then returns to where Julie is.
Everything is over. Hostages are being released. Susan sees Julie but Tom is still waiting for Lynette. Lynette is shot in her arm and she is transported to the hospital but she is fine.
Lynette Scavo had a dream that night. It was the one she had many times before. But something changed tonight. When she asked Mary Alice if everything is okay she walks to her and tells her that she can see that she is not well. Mary Alice tells her that she can’t prevent what she can’t predict and tells her to enjoy this beautiful day because we all get so few of them.
It was the last time that Lynette will ever dream of Mary Alice again.
Mary Alice: It was supposed to be an ordinary day for Carolyn Bigsby. She had planned to bake her husband a strudel, give her dog a bath, and water her African violets. Yes, Carolyn had planned to do all sorts of things she thought mattered. But earlier that day, a woman who wasn't her friend told Carolyn something she wasn't supposed to hear. From that moment on, Carolyn felt nothing really mattered anymore.
Susan: I can't leave Julie right now.
Ian: We'll take her with us.
Susan: Oh, that's responsible parenting. "Stealing whiskey? That's it young lady. I'm taking you to Paris"!
Ida: Bree, have you heard?
Bree: Awful, just awful. Deviled egg?
Ida: (after Bree lets them in and walks away.) I told you she'd have food.
(door bell rings at Gabrielle's house)
Mrs. McCluskey: Quick, turn on the TV.
Gabrielle: (all dirty and holding out a bat) It's kinda on the fritz.
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, turn on your radio!
Gabrielle: If only, you'd come ten minutes earlier.
Mrs. McCluskey: Some woman is shooting at field's market. She's got hostages!
Gabrielle: Oh, my God!
Mrs. McCluskey: Yeah, we're all watching it over at Bree's house and.... (peaks inside Gabrielle's house and see everything is destroyed)
Mrs. McCluskey: Uh, is everything okay here?
Gabrielle: Yeah, everything is fine. We're just having a little squabble.
(Carlos is coming with a chainsaw.)
Gabrielle: Would you just give us a minute? Carlos, where do you think you're going with that?
(Lynette and Nora are held hostage at the supermarket but managed to hide from Carolyn and were trying to talk to Tom on Lynette's cellphone when Parker answers the phone.)
Lynette: Hello! Sweetie, it's mommy, I need to talk to daddy.
Parker: Porter is hogging all the legos.
Lynette: Tell him I said to share, now put daddy on!
Parker: I did tell them! He says he needs them all for his robots!
Lynette: Put daddy on and I will buy you a real robot!
Parker: (pops his eyes up in excitement) You will?
Lynette: A big one with laser beam eyes, now go get daddy!
(Parker drops the phone on the couch and walks away)
Parker: (to his brothers) I'm getting a real robot!
(Carolyn comes from behind with a gun and takes the phone before she can talk to Tom)
(Talking about Carlos after she found out she only gets the house from the divorce and no money.)
Gabrielle: Come on, just give me one clean shot at him! I'm willing to do the time!
(Carlos and Gabrielle are in front of a judge getting divorced when Carlos' lawyer brings up the fact that Gabrielle only seduced him to get in on the money and Carlos played the tape.)
Gabrielle: (Upset) You recorded our love making?!
Carlos: It's all right here, Your Honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts.
Lynette: Oh, oh.. You have stepped on to my property, and you've talked to Tom. That's two rules you broke, and I'm not sure that top doesn't make it three.
Nora: Would you tell your lunatic wife I am not talking to her.
Lynette: I'm only lunatic if you think I'm letting you anywhere near my husband.
(Orson is explaining to Bree that it was an accident what it said about Alma on the police report)
Bree: By the way, to remove a red wine stain, you sprinkle salt to absorb it.
Orson: That's just what I was saying to Alma when she clocked me! edit »
Bree: Orson, if you have a moment, there is something I would like your thoughts on.
Orson: Certainly. What is it? The menu for our Holiday open house?
Bree: No, it's a police report from the night you beat your first wife. I'm still working on the menu.
Austin: Mouthwash, toothpaste. Did someone get an anonymous e-mail?
Julie: Said the boy with the economy-size acne cream.
(Nora is whispering to Lynette.)
Nora: I hope all this is giving you a little perspective on our situation.
Lynette: Shh! She told us not to talk.
Nora: You're thinking about your kids, right? How awful it'd be to never see them again. Well, that's what you're asking me to feel, but for the rest of my life!
Lynette: Nora, please!
Carolyn: Hey, what'd I say?
Lynette: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll, we'll be quiet.
Carolyn: You and your friend are really starting to bug me.
Lynette: She's not my friend.
Nora: She's trying to steal my kid.
Lynette: Nora, shut up!
Carolyn: Is that true?
Lynette: No! I, we're, we have, we're sharing custody, and then, she tried to seduce my husband, so...
Carolyn: She put the moves on your husband? Why didn't you say so?
(She turns the gun on Nora and shoots her coldly. The other customers gasp and shriek.)
Carolyn: (to hostage) Do I know you?
Hostage: My son Jordan's in your Sunday School class.
Carolyn: Oh yes he's a great little boy. So don't do anything that will make him wake up tommorow without a mommy.
(Susan is trying to close her suitcase.)
Ian: I have an expense account.
Susan: And you're just telling me this now? (unzips her suitcase and starts taking stuff out.)
(Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle are talking in front of Susan’s house, then the new resident of the Youngs’ old house gets out)
Susan: Hey is that the new neighbor?
Gabrielle: He’s cute.
Lynette: Edie said he’s a bachelor.
Gabrielle: Keep talking.
Lynette: Who lives with his invalid sister.
Gabrielle: You can stop now.
(The women keep looking at him)
Susan: Should we go and introduce ourselves?
Gabrielle: Yeah, let’s give him the scoop on the neighborhood.
They start walking towards him.
Lynette: Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?
Susan stretches out her hand and stops them.
Susan: Then again, he probably needs some time to unpack.
The women nod and turn around.
Nora: (on the verge of death, to Lynette) I don't have later, you stupid bitch...
Harvey: Carolyn, honey, it's me. Harvey. Look, I'm really sorry, what I did was wrong, but I still love you a lot.
Carolyn (eating cookies): Cut the crap. I had my hair done this morning, did you notice, huh, you even notice?
Harvey: I was distracted... you were shooting at me.
Edie: Tell her to let the kids go.
Carolyn: Who the hell was that?! You got a woman in there?
Harvey: She's a customer!
Carolyn: Don't lie to me, Harvey, she is another one of your whores, isn't she?!
Edie: Oh, fantastic!
Harvey: Carolyn, I swear...
Carolyn: I hope you're having a good time in there whore, because I got a bullet for you too! edit »
Mary Alice: (voiceover) Lynette Scavo had a dream that night. It was one she had many times before...
Lynette: Hey, Mary Alice! Are you okay?
Mary Alice: (reading the blackmail note) Yes, thank you. I'm fine.
Lynette: OK! I'll see you later.
Mary Alice: (voiceover)... but this night something changed.
Lynette: (walks towards her) No, you're not. I can tell. Please, tell me what's wrong. Let me save you.
Mary Alice: You can't.
Lynette: Why not?
Mary Alice: Sweetie, we can't prevent what we can't predict.
Lynette: Isn't there anything I can do?
Mary Alice: Yes, you can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them.
(Lynette looks at the sky and smiles. But when she turns around, Mary Alice is gone.)
Mary Alice: (voiceover) This was the last time Lynette would ever dream of me. And for her sake, I'm grateful.
Carolyn: First he cheated on me with a stewardess named Monique. How cliché is that? And then he told people about it. Now there are news trucks out there... Judy Pope's husband has an affair, nobody finds out. Mine cheats and they break into programming!
Edie: (to Harvey Bigsby about the shoplifting) Look, make him work it off. You get a free stock boy for a month!
Austin: A month? It's a 10 dollar bottle of whiskey!
Edie: Exactly! You weren't even smart enought to steal the good stuff!
(Susan confronts Julie with a can of beer.)
Julie: Oh, it was Austin's, okay? I was tutoring him, he brought beer, I told him to throw it out and he did, end of story.
Susan: Did you have any?
Julie doesn't answer and turns around.
Susan: I cannot believe this.
Julie: That's it! Go to your room and finish packing. This conversation is over!
Susan: The last time I checked, I was the parent.
Julie: The last time I checked, I was the daughter who never gave you any reason to doubt her. And don't play the parent card with me! I just finished packing your suitcase, doing your laundry and balancing your checkbook! And now I'm going to the store to buy your toothpaste.
Lynette: (refers to Carolyn killing Nora) Everyone in here has pain, but we deal with it. We swallow it and get going with our lives, but what we don't do is go around shooting strangers!
Carolyn: She deserved it!
Lynette: Well maybe you deserved to be cheated on!
Carolyn: I've been thinking Harvey, that if you love Monique so much maybe you should be with her.
Harvey: For gods sake Carolyn, she's dead.
Carolyn: I know.
(Carolyn pulls out her gun and starts shooting at Harvey.) edit »
Edie: Oh my god! Austin's there. And Julie. Get your ass out there before someone gets hurt!
Harvey: What am I, a moron? She'll shoot me.
Edie: She has got 10 innocent people out there. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.
Susan: Carolyn, open up, my daughter's inside!
Carolyn: Sorry, store's closed.
Susan: But there's a crazy woman in there!
Carolyn: Yeah, I know. (she waves the gun in front of Susan)
Carolyn: There's never a good reason for hitting a woman.
Bree: I used to think that too. Then I met you. Good day.
(Lynette offers to go for custody of Kayla.)
Tom: I never thought you'd want a fifth kid.
Lynette: I don't, and I didn't want the first four, but they're starting to grow on me.
Carolyn: (to the shoppers she is holding hostage) Attention, shoppers, we're having a special today on not getting shot, but it's only available at the back of the store. edit »
Carolyn: (to Lynette, after shooting Nora) I believe the phrase you're looking for is "Thank you".
Carolyn: For the rest of you, hi, I'm Carolyn. I'm sorry for putting a crimp in your day, but I'm pretty sure my cheating husband is in here right now phoning the police so I'm counting on all you folks to help me keep them outside 'til Harvey and I have a chance to (showing her gun) talk things over...
Orson: "I assure you, I did not beat my wife. She suffered these injuries in a fall."
Bree: "Well, how did she fall?"
Orson: "I pushed her."